Love Connects Us

Epcot Perry
Scavenger Hunt

Logan and Dad at Concert

Raising a child with chronic illness has taught us much.  We have learned how to reflect on our family strengths and weaknesses.  Ironically, I have learned that my biggest weakness is also my strength.  Sometimes I “care” too much.  Caring leaves me vulnerable, but it also makes me human. 

I care about all children, all families, people, my family, my children…  Caring has made me who I am and who I will become.  I am thankful that I care, but caring means we open ourselves up to multiple emotions and that can include not only joy and love, but also hurt and sadness. 

Recently, I have been deeply hurt.  I have learned that there are some, who we thought cared about our brave children, but have acted with cruelty.  A small group has been bullying and making fun of parents and their children with JA.  The sadder realization was to learn they too have children with JA.  I have to admit, this really shocked me and it absolutely choked me up as I held back tears…tears for every family and for the poor mom who witnessed meanness against her own child.  My instant reaction was to break away from all social media and groups and focus only on myself, my husband, and my children.  For several weeks I couldn’t even post, blog, or communicate with others about this because I “care”…I have always cared what others think, feel.

I choose to be open to my emotions…feelings drive me forward and push me to be determined to overcome.  The depth of my emotions continue to teach me many lessons:  judgment is inevitable; challenges present themselves; and we will fall, but we can pick ourselves up.  As I ponder these lessons and as our family faces our challenges, we allow ourselves to feel and then let go…moving through these emotions brings a sense of peace.  Our peace fills us with strength and our love propels us forward.  And as long as we act with love in our heart, it may leave us vulnerable, but at least we are being true.

Because our family cares so much, we are given the amazing and powerful gift of love.  We love each other dearly, but this love also connects us to others.  It is with others that we can battle this incredibly beastly disease and still enjoy life.  We are so incredibly thankful to the many that have rallied around our family. 

Gaming with Troy during weekly infusioon

I will admit, the beast of JA does try to stop us…and it can feel relentless at times.  But after we move through the appointments, tests, treatments, and therapies we try to insert a little fun.  Sometimes that fun is within the walls of our own home…other times we make an outing of it. We treasure these moments with each other, family, and friends.

I am happy to report that Parker’s labs are much better and overall his strength is getting better and pain is less many days.  We are slowly decreasing some of his meds and increasing his activity level.  We are still battling pulmonary issues and we do have a few set-backs from time-to-time but overall there is improvement and we will continue to support him as he takes baby steps forward so he can begin to run circles again.  He has a goal to go back to school full time next year, as he enters the ninth grade. 

Logan went to the orthopedic doctor and he does have mild scoliosis.  We will monitor it and he is starting PT next week.  Logan has just completed 10^th grade and on Monday he will be a freshman at the community college.  He has chosen to take 2 classes this summer and will continue to be dually enrolled for the rest of high school.  This is something he really wanted to do and he is so thrilled that he went down to the campus today to check it out and find where his class will be.

You are my master,
 I love you so!
SQUIRREL

We are grateful to experience the love we have.  Love is such a gift.  It strengthens us and fuels our dreams and hopes. Love connects us.   I really do believe that together we are better! 

So Many Thoughts…

As a family, we have chosen to openly share our journey with juvenile arthritis.  This was both a difficult decision and an easy decision.  Difficult because in some ways it leaves us vulnerable and somewhat open to “judgments” and “opinions”; however, we know there is a great need for awareness and advocacy.  Many are often shocked when I tell them that I have rheumatoid arthritis because I am “too young”…you can imagine their greater shock when they find out that our children have JA.

Each family that is impacted by JA has their own story, their own coping strategies, their own experiences…but we all have one thing very much in common…we all have a child whose life is impacted by an autoimmune disease.  All of our children are “children first”…they have dreams of children…they want friends; they need their education; they long to play.  As parents we try to provide them with the best opportunities we possibly can between therapies, hospital visits, doctor appointments, procedures, infusions, etc.

Lately, I have been pondering how perceptions are shaped by our experiences.  How we perceive situations based on our “view” will either allow us to take on another’s perspective or not.  There are moments when either my husband or I have been misunderstood; and we have also witness our children being misunderstood.  For instance, during our last hospital stay one might say “Parker was not very nice or he was not coping well” and in that moment probably not.  However, what was not immediately apparent were all the circumstances surrounding that situation.  It takes great skill to look at the bigger picture and try to understand the whole situation and to understand his perspective.  And please don’t misunderstand me…we still asked him to reflect on his actions and apologize.  When others take the time to truly understand, that is when the miracles have the ability to happen.  I do believe that social-emotional support is just as important as the medical treatment.

I know we are not perfect…no one is…I know we are making some mistakes along the way…that is our opportunity to learn.  And I am sure we will continue to make mistakes just as I am sure we will continue to learn.  We are dealing with an autoimmune disease umbrella that has limited answers and much uncertainty.

We have learned many lessons through this disease and our appreciation for life is greater.  We know that simplicity is golden.  We enjoy the breeze in the air a little more.  We feel the depth of love with deeper affection.  We cherish naps full of dreams.  We cuddle just because.  We celebrate laughter often, even when it’s through a few tears.

Do I wish none of this had ever happened?  Sometimes…we have felt and witnessed great anger, sadness, and pain.  But sometimes I think, but then we would not have met some of the most amazing individuals on this planet…who just show love without having to be asked…The human spirit is quite remarkable.

We want to tell everyone thank you for joining us in this journey, for supporting us during our fundraising and walks, for listening, for celebrating with us and for cheering us on.  We advocate for our family and all the children with autoimmune diseases in hopes that a cure will come for each and every child.

We are thankful that we have a support network that is willing to walk alongside of us…even when we don’t know where we are going.  We appreciate your willingness to simply just “be” with us.  Our family pulls profound inspiration from your support and together we are stronger…

Much love from the Lentini family (A.K.A. The Purple Playas)