Have you ever heard of the saying “1 step forward, 2 steps
back?”
Well, never before has that saying felt more true about my life than now.
All the "steps" taken to correct my feet/ankles over the last 8 years. Bottom row is before surgeries Top row is after surgeries. |
As most of you know, I had my 4th ankle surgery this past August. They put 2
screws in and did a subtalar fusion of my foot and ankle. Earlier this year I
finished doing physical therapy (PT) on it and for the first time in 5 years I
haven’t had to use my wheelchair.
Top right foot with 2 screws. |
Side right foot with 2 screws. |
Since that surgery I have only used my wheel
chair for Disney trips; and I have been walking an average of 3,000 steps a
day. This might not seem like a lot, but compared to before the surgery where I
was walking less than 1,000 steps a day, it’s a big improvement. But that is
just the beginning, for the past month I have been walking much more than that.
At physical therapy I have been training my endurance and stamina by walking on
the treadmill for 6-8 minutes at 2mph (Ludacris speed). And I do that up to 3
times in the hour that I am at PT. The main reason that I have been doing this
is so that I would be able to walk the full mile at the Walk to Cure Arthritis
this year, in under 30 min. And it was really looking like I was going to be
able to meet this goal. Until yesterday.
Yesterday I went to see my surgeon because for the past
month or so I have been feeling a bit of a sharp pain in my ankle when I walk
too much. Now normally this wouldn’t concern me because I would just assume
that it is some kind of arthritis pain, but ever since I got the same surgery
on my other ankle I haven’t felt any pain like this. So, we decided to go see
the surgeon and get X-rays. And this is where we started taking steps
backwards. The surgeon came in with the X-rays and showed me where the screw is
and explained to me that my foot never fused all the way and because of that
the screw has become loose. And because the screw has become loose, whenever I
walk the top of the screw is being pinched.
Notice back space around screw. |
Where the tip could be pinching since loose. |
Then, I asked him what could have
caused this to happen. And he said that there were a couple of reasons that
this happened. The first being that since I have osteoporosis it takes much
longer for my bones to heal, which is why I used a bone stimulator after the
surgery. Another reason is because I haven’t been wearing a brace since the
middle of November, and this isn’t because I don’t like the brace or anything
like that. It’s because our insurance wouldn’t approve the script for the brace
because I don’t have diabetes. Which is such a stupid reason. So, now because
the dang insurance didn’t approve my brace, my ankle wasn’t held stable and
never fully healed. So thanks for that.
But it was the third reason that could have caused this
problem with my fusion that really got to me. The doctor told me that because I
have been walking so much and training so hard at PT, I had inadvertently
caused my screw to become loose. And that was just devastating. I had been
working so hard, pushing myself so much, and to find out that because of that I
had been making myself worse…it just killed my motivation, my spirit, my drive
to keep working harder at physical therapy. I was heartbroken.
So then I asked the surgeon what I can do to prevent this
from getting worse, and he told me a couple of things. First, he said that I
need to get a new brace for my shoe so that my ankle is supported. And now
that we have new insurance hopefully they will approve it. If not, then we will
have to pay out of pocket for it because we really don’t have a choice this
time. Secondly, he said that I need to start using the bone stimulator again, which
is no problem. It was the last thing he said that felt the final blow. He told
me that I need to stop walking as much for 2 months. That means no weight baring training
for the walk at physical therapy. If he doesn’t clear me in 2 months to walk
fully again, that could mean that I might not be allowed to walk the walk. And
that’s when I took the second step backwards. All the training that I have done
for the last month was for nothing. Because now I can’t train for at least 2
months; and by then it will be time for the walk. I won’t be prepared to reach my goal of
walking the full mile in under 30 minutes. So I asked the surgeon what I was
allowed to do. I am allowed to walk without the brace in the house to the
bathroom and to get a drink. I am allowed to walk around outside the house and in
stores, as long as I wear the brace. But there is one caveat. The moment I feel
that pain in my ankle, I am no longer allowed to walk until it completely goes
away. It’s hard because if my foot doesn’t heal and fuse correctly, he might
have to go back in for surgery to re-fuse it. It just sucks because I thought
that I was finally done with my feet and ankles. I thought that I wasn’t going
to have to worry about them anymore. I thought that after 11 pairs of braces/inserts
and 4 surgeries, I was finally done. But I just keep taking steps backwards.
With each new step, I keep growing. |
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My dear Parker , sorry for the stupid screw got loos,
ReplyDeleteMy dear Parker, always, always , thinking about you.
You have fb?? Whattapp ??? We can chat.and I will be here for you
and be a good listener.
Don't lose hope, always something good happen .....
Yesterday went with 2 senior to pick up strawberry in Plant City, was something interesting and new experience.
Dear Parker you can text , your dear mom, had my cell number.
Hope the spring, bring good moments with out pain for you.
Give a big hug to Michael, Logan and
Your amenzing Rochelle.
And for you , always love and miss you, please keep in touch .
Coach Liz .
Parker, I'm so sorry! You're right, and there is no other way to put it, that sucks. I know you will persevere and I know you will meet that goal, maybe not this Spring, but you will meet it. You are a very determined young man. You put your mind to it and you will make it happen. Love and continued prayers.... Jeannine, Kevin and of course Kenneth. ❤
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Parker. It wasn't for nothing you got stronger and showed major grit and that counts for something! You are an inspiration to us and I am always praying for you.
ReplyDeleteParker, hang in there bud! After we met in Orlando last week, I was talking to a friend of mine and sharing your story with him (before this post BTW). I was telling him that of all the amazing people we have had the pleasure of meeting in our decade-long journey with JA, you are one of the most inspirational young adults that our family has ever met. Your upbeat spirit, your sense of humor, and your unflappable determination are an inspiration to more people than you'll ever know.
ReplyDeleteWe often wonder how you are able to overcome so much adversity, and continue to get up every day and fight the good fight. Whether you know it or not, you offer hope to so many people... Keep the faith, that one day you (and many others) will finally see a most deserved life that is free from the pain and encumbrance of arthritis.
And you WILL walk the Walk again, we are sure of that! While it may seem that all of your efforts and hard work were for nothing, they should serve as a reminder of what you are capable of. In a matter of time you will be cleared to resume your PT efforts, and you won't have to wonder if you're able to do certain things - because you have proven time and time again that you are capable of anything!!
Boston Bob, Jen, Bobby, and Emily
Parker, I am sorry to hear about this setback. You are one of the strongest human beings I know. Please know that I am praying for you and I think about you all the time because you inspire me. I still have a gift you gave me with my favorite colored flowers-purple. When I look at them, I think of you and the true meaning of purple power.
ReplyDelete